Music Page

Yes, The Bass also writes and records songs for absolutely no reason from time to time.    Now you can hear them! But you can never UNHEAR them.

More Songs (MP3s) - click link to listen

Crap in Stereo - Does mainstream radio suck?  Yes it does. Here is a song about the myriad ways how.

Tools in the Toolshed - The song that started its life as a snippet from “Joey and Jerome’s Artisitic Meaningful Independent Film”. What is it about? I dunno. But it certainly mentions Tyler Perry,  Encyclopedia Brown, Voltron, and cornflakes.

My First Song - Hey, we all had to start somewhere.

Ninjews Theme - Rockin’ song about Jewish Ninjas that plays during the credits of the new Ninjews movie.

Bass Attack - An ode to myself, from myself.  I predict this will replace “Crank Dat” and “Cupid Shuffle” as everyone’s favorite hit to dance to.  Guest vocals by Brandi Morgan.

Mr. Peepers - A heavy metal ode to voyeurism

Generic Independent Film Soundtrack Song - The title says it all!  Take your  favorite indie film! Turn down the volume!   Fast forward to any part of the movie!  Play this song!   Amazing! It fits anywhere!

Time is Gonna get You - from the “Every Seven Minutes” soundtrack.  An 80s metal summary of the plot of the entire film.

Boneless Children - a mournful metal tale straight out of ’89 about a very select group of the disabled.

I like my Women in the Kitchen - a country concoction of chauvanism (that was almost alliterative).

Finest Workout Song - a rockin’ ode to pumpin’ iron, juicin’ your quads, and deltin’ your lats.

Bling Bling (Dope Ass Whack Booty Yo) - This is how every rap song sounds to me.

Butt Pirates of the Caribbean - who says being gay isn’t manly?

Lyrics/Music Videos

Videos with lyrics for some of m’songs, and a “music video” (quotes indicate old-ass-ness and poor-ass-ness of quality) for “Hellbound Jew”
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Bass on IMDB
Glirk Pasternakky, Internet Comedianglirk.htmlglirk.htmlglirk.htmlglirk.htmlglirk.htmlshapeimage_11_link_0shapeimage_11_link_1shapeimage_11_link_2shapeimage_11_link_3


Is it a song about how much I like to play the bass guitar? Or is it about tiger ownership, Battlestar Galactica, racism, and other stuff?


Hot Tub Group Release

A very disgusting song about very disgusting people doing disgusting things they should be disgusted by.  Don’t blame me, blame this craigslist ad for inspiring me. WARNING: This is disgusting.

The C Store

A mysterious store appears on a local street. What do they sell? Find out!

F*ck You, I’m on a Bike

Do you ride a bike? Do you ride it while I’m driving? Have you pissed me off while doing so?  Then this is for you.

Hellbound Jew

After a lifetime of suffering under Orthodox oppression, these Jewish brothers are fighting back. Or singing back. Or fighting back with music. Or something.   

Chemical Fire

The song that turns the reality of a toxic, polluting environmental disaster into an 80s METAL-phor for love.

Doctor Ass

An ode to everyone’s favorite medically licensed anal intruder. Ok, maybe he’s no one’s favorite ‘cause I made him up. But were he real, he’s the only rooter you’d want up up your tooter.